Valentines day is next month, but the stores are already stocked with various items for your valentine. I remember way back in grade school we used to exchange valentine cards with class mates. We were encouraged by parents to give one to everybody so no one felt left out. Though it wasn’t always comfortable to get a card from the ‘wrong’ person, it did help us begin to think about others and not just our own feelings. Valentines Day celebrates the special ones we love. And we should do this not just on one day but throughout the year. This focus on love begs us to ponder what exactly love is. English only has one word for love. In Greek there are several words for different kinds of ‘love’. This may be true for other languages as well. They are attempts to define what love is. Take a moment to write down your definition before you read on.

According to Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, love is broken down in terms of it being a noun or a verb. As a noun love is: strong affection, warm attachment, attraction based on sexual desire, a beloved person, unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others and also a score of zero in tennis. Does this adequately define love?? Look at this definition from the Bible: Love is patient, it is kind, it is not jealous, it does not brag, nor is it arrogant, it does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, it is not easily provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, it bears all things, it hopes all things, endures all things, and it never fails. (1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8) Do you know anyone who can live this out in daily life? Be honest now, how long would you love someone if you didn’t get something in return? If we are honest love encompasses selfishness. For most love is a way to satisfy our needs. When you watch a movie you can often hear the phrase,”let’s make love” and often see it played out. Is sex really about love? Or is it using someone else to satisfy your own needs? If you love someone you want the best for that person. You want to give them what they need to be all they can be. That is the second definition–thinking of the other person before yourself. That is real love and it is life-giving.

How can we live this out? Out of our own will we can try. It doesn’t take long before we run into some event that pushes us to the edge and we find ourselves doing or saying something which isn’t loving. And truthfully, trying to be a nice loving person is usually centered in selfishness, because we will look good to others. I believe the only way we can live out unselfish love is with the help of God who loved us so much that even when we were sinners He sent His Son to take our punishment and die for us. When we accept that gift of love He sends His Spirit to dwell in us and help us in our weakness. We live in a world now where some are taught hate even as little children. We live in brokenness that evokes little instruction about thinking of others first. We are taught to look out for ourselves. As we journey into this year and come to Valentines Day, consider how you can really love those around you and be life-giving in your sphere of influence.